Facing the ‘monsters’ in your Human Design chart 👹
Published 16 days ago • 7 min read
I just hit the big 3-0 🎉 And as I enter this new decade, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the lessons of my 20s.
(No Lyndsie, being able to function on less than 5 hours of sleep is NOT a badge of honor and for the love of god - plz wash your face!).
As I look back at old photos and journal entries (and maybe even a cringe video diary or two 😅) , one thing has become abundantly clear:
Nearly all of my biggest challenges and life lessons have revolved around the 'not-self' themes of my Undefined Centers:
My Undefined Head Center ➡️ OMG—the endless mental chatter ✔️ the shiny object syndrome ✔️ the relentless pressure to act on every idea or inspiration ✔️
My Open Ego Center ➡️ the imposter syndrome ✔️ the spending money I didn’t have to “look the part” and signal to others that I’m “worth” knowing, loving, hiring, etc. ✔️ the constant undercharging and overdelivering because I had to PROVE my worth to my clients (even when they were happy to pay more 🤦🏻♀️) ✔️
My Undefined Solar Plexus ➡️the many times I didn't speak up because I "didn't want to make it awkward" ✔️ the boundaries I let slide to "keep the peace"✔️ the avoiding of confrontation at all costs ✔️
(If you’re sitting there thinking “What in the human-design-jibberish does all of that mean?” Don’t worry, I got you 👇 )
See, our Undefined Centers (the white shapes in your chart) are where we’re constantly taking in and amplifying energy from the world around us.
While this can be an incredible gift, our Undefined Centers are also where we’re most likely to face challenges, pick up beliefs about who we should be or feel like we’re “not enough”.
Each Center has associated “not-self themes”— or red flag behaviors that can show up when we’re out of alignment.
When I first learned about my not-self themes, I felt seen. Called out. And, honestly? Relieved.
Because once I could see these patterns and behaviors playing out in my life, I couldn’t UN-see them...
And that awareness has led to some of the most profound transformation I've ever experienced ✨
Here’s the thing—knowing the not-self themes of your Undefined Centers doesn’t mean challenges in these areas will magically disappear...
But it does mean you can catch yourself slipping into these patterns and consciously CHOOSE a different response.
It’s kind of like facing a monster in a video game that you have to defeat to level up:
"My mind begins to seem like a video game: I can either play it intelligently, learning more in each round, or I can be killed in the same spot by the same monster, again and again." - Sam Harris
So, what do you say? If you’re ready to stop being tripped up by the same “monsters,” grab your chart, and let’s dive in!
Now, it’s your turn! Grab your Human Design chart (you can download it for free here.) and look for any white shapes—these are your Undefined Centers.
Then, take a look at the corresponding not-self behaviors listed below:
Head Center
You may be experiencing the not-self if:
🚩 You get lost in endless mental chatter, overthinking things that don’t actually matter.
🚩 You feel pressured to solve everyone else’s problems, even if they didn’t ask.
🚩 You need to have all the answers before moving forward, feeling stressed if every detail isn’t nailed down.
🚩 You’re drowning in inspiration overload—you have so many ideas, it feels like your brain’s on overdrive. You jump from idea to idea, struggling to focus on just one.
Ajna Center
You may be experiencing the not-self if:
🚩 You feel the need to have a strong opinion or perspective on everything—even if you’re secretly unsure.
🚩 Saying, “I don’t know,” feels like admitting defeat, and you often find yourself trying to prove you’re right.
🚩 You drive yourself crazy needing to “figure it out,” with your mind constantly rationalizing, comparing, or trying to talk yourself into something.
🚩 You feel overwhelming pressure to mentally “lock in” your decisions, ideas, or beliefs, clinging to them even when new information arises that suggests otherwise.
Throat Center
You may be experiencing the not-self if:
🚩 You fear that you’re invisible to others unless you’re the loudest or most attention-grabbing in the room and catch yourself talking just to feel heard.
🚩 Silence makes you squirm, so you jump in to fill the gaps—whether it’s needed or not.
🚩 You sometimes struggle to “read the room”, leading you to say things at the wrong time, to the wrong people, in a way that just doesn’t land.
🚩 When speaking to others, you find yourself constantly planning your next words instead of being present in the conversation.
G / Identity Center
You may be experiencing the not-self if:
🚩 You catch yourself constantly seeking validation or approval from others to affirm that you’re “lovable.”
🚩 You feel lost or unsure of your own path and often look to others for direction—sometimes even adopting their goals, dreams, or values as your own.
🚩 You feel trapped on a never-ending quest to “find yourself,” stressing over whether you’re living the “right” life or being the “right” person.
🚩 You easily fall for people’s potential rather than reality and can often lose yourself in relationships, blurring boundaries and being molded by others expectations instead of honoring your own shifting identity.
Ego / Heart / Will Center
You may be experiencing the not-self if:
🚩 You find yourself constantly trying to “prove” your worth—whether that’s through overachievement, ignoring your need for rest, or taking on more than you can handle to “earn” approval from others.
🚩 You say “yes” to commitments and promises you can’t keep, only to feel drained or disappointed when you can’t follow through…and then double down, promising even more next time.
🚩 You’re quick to undervalue yourself or your services, often settling for less because, deep down, you’re not convinced you deserve more.
🚩 You catch yourself measuring your success by others’ standards, whether that’s status, money, or reputation, even if those things don’t align with your own values.
Spleen Center
You may be experiencing the not-self if:
🚩 You hold on to people, places, or things long after they’ve stopped serving you—whether it’s a relationship, a job, or even that random trinket you “might need someday.”
🚩 You’re constantly on high-alert. Every fear is amplified and it makes you feel paralyzed, leading you to stick with what feels “safe” and familiar over what could actually help you grow.
🚩 Or, on the flip side, you feel pressure to be spontaneous, sometimes diving into impulsive decisions to try to silence your fears.
🚩 You may struggle with co-dependency and find yourself clinging to those with Defined Spleens in your life because they make you feel safe, at times to your own detriment.
Sacral Center
You may be experiencing the not-self if:
🚩 You have a hard time saying “no,” often committing to things that drain you or that don’t spark interest because deep down, you believe that your value is defined by your productivity.
🚩 You worry about being seen as lazy and push yourself to keep up with others—even when you’re running on empty.
🚩 Boundaries? What boundaries? You struggle to recognize when enough is enough and often find yourself working late, skipping breaks, or continuing tasks way past the point you need to rest.
🚩 You’re no stranger to burnout, often ignoring your body’s signals until you’re physically or emotionally exhausted…only to go on and repeat the cycle.
Solar Plexus / Emotional Center
You may be experiencing the not-self if:
🚩 You avoid conflict like the plague, sidestepping difficult conversations and staying silent on issues that bother you just to “keep the peace.”
🚩 You feel others’ emotions so intensely that you become the “fixer”, constantly trying to manage everyone’s moods just so you don’t have to feel the discomfort of their anger, sadness, or disappointment.
🚩 You frequently catch yourself suppressing your emotions, compromising your boundaries, or bending over backward to keep others happy because you don’t want to rock the boat.
🚩 Or, if you grew up in a household with a lot of Defined Emotional Centers, you might find yourself creating conflict or drama in order to feel that familiar sense of emotional intensity.
Root Center
You may be experiencing the not-self if:
🚩 You’re always racing against the clock, feeling like if you can just get this “one thing” done, then you’ll finally be able to relax…but somehow, the to-do list never stops growing.
🚩 You rush through tasks just so you can check them off the list, sometimes even compromising quality for that fleeting feeling of being “done.”
🚩 You absorb stress and adrenaline from those around you, leading you to either chase that rush with risky, thrill-seeking behaviors or shut down & procrastinate because the pressure is too overwhelming.
🚩 You push yourself to the brink, measuring your worth by how much you accomplish and chasing a sense of relief that never quite arrives.
Did any of those behaviors hit close to home? If so, congrats! 🎉 You’ve officially taken the first step toward breaking free from your not-self patterns simply by recognizing them for what they are.
Now, here are a few prompts to help you integrate this new awareness:
Where do these patterns show up most in your life? Think about when you tend to slip into these not-self behaviors. Are there certain situations, people, or environments that trigger these tendencies?
What beliefs or patterns are you holding on to that are no longer serving you? Reflect on what you’re ready to release and what you’d like to call in for yourself instead.
What’s one small boundary you can set to protect your energy? Undefined Centers make it easy to get swept up in others’ energy and expectations, so even a small boundary can help you stay aligned and grounded in your energy.
As I step into this new era, I’m releasing the need to prove my worth and embracing vulnerability—letting myself be seen, imperfections and all, knowing that’s what makes us beautifully human ❤️
What about you? Hit reply and let me know. I'd love to hear from you!